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happier_balance
31 March 2010 @ 08:01 am
Dear world,
I will not be joining my classmates on the first of April for clerkship as I have found employment as bell-ringer and grounds sweeper in a Buddhist temple in the mountains of Japan. As a concession to my being a foreigner to the country, I will fortunately not be required to shave my head. I shall depend on the sweat of my brow and the rewards of the earth for sustenance and miso soup, pickled vegetables and clear spring water shall nourish me as I meditate and become one with the fresh mountain air that will surround me. I shall remove myself from all things of the flesh and shall be renewed not just in body but in spirit as well.
You, world, will always be included in my prayers which shall ask for forgiveness for all our failings.
I also promise that my secret stash of off-color fanfiction and doujinshi as well as my candybars will never be opened and shall remain buried near the north-facing roots of the third peach blossom tree that stands on the right-hand side of the temple garden's east side gate.
Today, I ask for serenity, the will, and the good humor to accompany me on this path of life that few have chosen.

March 31, 2010
08:01
 
 
happier_balance
I read Tennesee Williams' A Streetcar Named Desire, Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, Sputnik Sweetheart and What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, Mercedes Lackey's Shadow of the Serpent. I watched Sex and the Single Girl, Breakfast at Tiffany's and Prince of Tennis (for the 5th time now).

And, perhaps the best of all, I read Neha's latest chapter of Life's Lessons.

My two week summer break is complete.

March 28, 2010
10:32
 
 
happier_balance
27 March 2010 @ 08:47 pm
There are fishes in the bathtub. Alright, plastic fish, Dory and Nemo, that my younger sisters left after their baths. A common enough sight in a household with kids under the age of ten but a sight that I sure am going to miss starting April 1.  The first day of clinical clerkship. It's the date we have all been wishing would never come but at the same time the roiling clump of live wires  in my stomach isn't all fear. There's some good nerves mixed up in there too.

Unlike in private medical schools where clinical clerks have almost purely observational roles during clerkship, a public college of medicine does have its perks. Along with the love affair with mountains of paperwork that is equated with being a clerk, clerkship in a public institution involves a bit more involvement in the blood and gore (yes, I speak with absolute relish) of the art of medicine.

I am a clinical clerk, a year away from getting a couple of letters attached to my name, two years (if all goes well) from being a licensed MD, but you can also call me the fabulous human retractor or the amazing monitoring machine with 36 hour shifts. It's definitely not physiologic, something I absolutely dread but somehow I still look forward to.

Conclusion: Medical students are suicidal and masochistic.

Oddly, one of the reasons I so dread clerkship is that I won't ever have another summer break. I won't have weeks away from school to do nothing but laze away the hot summer days with iced tea and a good novel, or trips to the beach whenever I want to. I won't have days where I can wake up late and roll my eyes at the plastic toys my sisters leave in the bathtub. Clearkship is apparently the harbinger of that thing which I am in absolute fear of ever happening: Growing up.

ohmyeverlovinggodwhatthefuckamigoingtodoicantbeafrickingadultijustcant!

March 27, 2010
20:47
 
 
happier_balance
16 March 2010 @ 04:52 pm
If nothing else, my medical education has taught me how to distinguish and hopefully, in the long run, diagnose a case of clinical depression. But no matter what my intellect and textbooks insist on, depression does not have to fit any timeline or a constellation of symptoms. For me, depression is the feeling I sometimes get at 4 in the afternoon and the summer sunlight is streaming through the half-closed window panes with the sound of light traffic drifting up from the street just outside the window. Depression is the moment I start to obsess about the pile of laundry lying on the floor waiting for me to pick up and fold. It is the pile of books littered on my bed which I have randomly selected from my bookshelf and read not more than a couple of pages or a chapter at least. Depression is the sudden craving for a cigarette that creeps up on me when I take a break from thinking about nothing at all and take a sip from the glass of dilute iced tea with the few remaining ice chips clinking against the sides of the glass. This picture of depression is probably nothing at all like the deep dark hole that the truly depressed find themselves fallen into but sometimes the sunlight streaming through the window creates shadows that grow longer and longer, the laundry is still left unpicked, and the craving for the cigarette becomes a nagging that seems to permeate even my guts.

March 16, 2010
 
 
happier_balance
07 February 2010 @ 08:36 pm
This only counts with speakers and not necessarily headphones, right? LOL

But seriously, there are days when listening to my favorite kinds of music actually make me feel old.8D
 
 
 
happier_balance
04 February 2010 @ 08:41 pm
is to rant about my life. Like anybody would be interested. lol

Just had dinner: Dilis (a kind of dried fish), tomatoes, leftover tonkatsu on rice with a splash of spiced vinegar.

And Hershey's Kisses for dessert.

If my mom could just see the stuff I eat while away at school. Which is the only reason I can get away with half this stuff...lol

The leftover tonkatsu was supposed to become katsudon but I was too lazy to do any cooking, besides I already had katsudon for lunch.XD

The Legal Med exam this afternoon drained me. How is it possible for law texts to be so excruciatingly dry...? And what could possibly possess a pediatrician to study Law and give his med students exams that look like they were made for law students?

I have a Nephrology exam tomorrow but... to quote Honeychile, "Why study when you cannot?" I simply cannot muster the enthusiasm for nephrology that I had for pulmonology and endocrinology. Wtf, neurology was fun. Difficult, yes, but fun. On the bright side, Nephro ends next week and we can move on to opto/ophthalm, otology, and other neater stuff. YAY!=)

Thank god for problem-based learning since I think I would just shrivel up and die or just quit school if I was stuck in a tradtitional curriculum.

That bag of Kisses has got to go. It's luring me into bed with that Sherrilyn Kenyon novel. *looks away from the bed*

 
 
happier_balance
13 January 2010 @ 11:42 am
I've figured it out.

The lack of motivation is a form of passive-aggression that stems from a fear of unknown situations, namely, internship.

*Somebody know how to upload Harrison's Principles of Internal Medicine directly into my brain?*
 
 
Current Mood: ditzyditzy
 
 
happier_balance
12 January 2010 @ 10:32 pm
I was supposed to be studying for preceptorials tomorrow but my eyes just shut when I start to read my books. So...

So, I did some busy work.

Basically, these are stuff from my sketchpad and I just took digital pictures and edited the brightness and added a wash of color on picture manager.

*much as I hate to admit it, I don't know photoshop...lolXD*
Beck: MCS hereCollapse )
And then some Bleach.Collapse )
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
happier_balance
12 January 2010 @ 11:16 am
I've recently discovered 2 surefire ways of getting ugly.

1. Going to school (and actually studying)

2. Going online.

They both make you lose sleep and wreck your skin. So what's your pick?

I don't wanna start internship this April... The idea of being an intern is just too scary... What if I make a mistake in the wards and kill a patient? Besides I don't feel like I know anything.

Why? Oh why did I ever think I wanted to be a doctor?
 
 
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: robot- alan parson project
 
 
happier_balance
20 July 2009 @ 03:03 pm
A live action film adaptation of the manga/anime is scheduled to come out sometime this 2010 and the band is coming to life as played by some of the latest stars of the jdrama field.

Links (to DramaWiki):

Ryusuke - Mizushima Hiro
Koyuki - Takeru Satoh
Taira - Osamu Mukai
Chiba - Kenta Kiritani
Saku - Nakamura Aoi

The movie will be produced/directed by Yukihiko Tsutsumi, who is also responsible for the live action adaptations of several manga including the Kindaichi Case Files and a host of other jdramas including Stand Up!!! *a personal favorite, actually*.

 
 
Current Mood: bouncybouncy